Representative Image / Canva

“Stay out of the sun or you will get dark.” Nitya, a 33 year old Indian American woman, would hear this from people in her family and in Indian functions since she was a young girl.

In middle school, her mother gave her a tube of Fair and Lovely and asked her to use it to “clear” her skin. By the time she graduated high school, she heard people in her community say things like, “Your sister is beautiful, she is so fair. It’s ok, if you work hard, you will get a good career.” Nitya was typically quiet in these situations, as she couldn’t think of how to respond to them. She went along with her mother’s request to use Fair and Lovely, although she felt something was off. She wondered why she had to clear her skin of its brownness.

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In a psychotherapy session with me, she said, “I always liked my dark skin but I wanted to be pretty like my sister. That meant being fair.” Nitya had never talked with her parents or anyone about her feelings and in fact, many of her memories about skin tone remained in the recesses of her mind. Over time, she came to see herself as unattractive, even ugly at times. By the time she turned 25, she stopped using Fair and Lovely, but the hurt she felt remained within her.

The novelist Alice Walker (1983) used the term "colorism" to describe the prejudicial treatment of people based on skin tone. Historically steeped in colonization and slavery, colorism, especially against women and girls with darker skin tones, has become a global problem affecting people of all generations.

Psychologists have recently documented how women with darker skin tones are at risk for racial profiling, unfair or negative treatment in workplaces and educational settings, and for mental health stress, such as depressed mood and anxiety. Nitya, for example, initially reached out to a therapist because of feeling depressed after her breakup with her fiancé. Her fiancé had made some devaluing comments about Nitya’s dark skin tone, and no one in her family or his family questioned his behavior.

Nitya, although she was in love with her fiancé, felt invisible and increasingly depressed about his lack of empathy toward her. She eventually found the courage to end the relationship with him, and started to question the silence in her family and community about colorism. 

Nitya’s experience is not uncommon. In fact, colorist beliefs and behaviors are normalized within our families, friend groups, and broader community. Even though many of us are aware that comments about dark skin tone can be hurtful, we are less apt to take this on as a serious problem.

We tend not to examine why so many in the Indian diaspora still carry negative views of dark skin tone. Part of this has to do with our mixed approach to racism. At times, we acknowledge its presence, and other times, we deny its significance in our own lives and those of others. Some of us put our heads down and convince ourselves that if we just work hard enough or secure financial success, we can bypass prejudice and discrimination. Others hope that they will have children with lighter skin tone so that they will not face racism or colorism. 

Yet, my experience as a researcher and therapist has taught me that racist and colorist attitudes and behaviors are widespread, even while there is silence on these topics. Specifically, research on racism and colorism among Indian Americans indicates how common it is to internalize negative, prejudiced ideas about dark skin tone and the sense that nothing can be done to change these ideas.

Sadly, negative attitudes about dark skin tone are passed down across  generations, and through the internet, social media, Hollywood, and the Indian film industry (Bollywood, Tollywood, Kollywood). Notably, for many research participants and psychotherapy clients, there is a strong desire for connection with families and Indian friends and community.

At the same time, repeatedly being subjected to devaluing messages about dark skin tone is deeply damaging for people with darker skin tones, making them question how much they want to interact with other Indians. The women and men whom I have worked with talk about feeling sad, isolated, and hopeless about finding support, sometimes even from the people closest to them. 

There are, however, things that we can do to actively challenge colorism. I take inspiration, for example, from grassroots movements like the Dark is Beautiful campaign in India. This campaign has successfully challenged advertising of skin lightening products and procedures.

These movements offer hope for a collective resistance to colorism. The courage of the women in this movement, rather than colorist attitudes, can be internalized in our families and communities. We can talk openly with our friends, parents, siblings, aunties, uncles, children, partners, and spouses about our own internalized prejudice.

We can have meaningful conversations about how colorism is rooted in colonization, caste discrimination, sexism, and classism.

Perhaps with such efforts, we can finally start to reckon with the harms caused to darker toned people like Nitya, and affirm that beauty, desirability, and human value have nothing to do with skin color. 

The writer is a Professor of Counseling, Developmental, and Educational Psychology at Boston College.

(The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of New India Abroad.)

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