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Dating fatigue? Maybe you’re just doing it all wrong
Dating fatigue tends to creep in when you invest emotionally too soon.
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Shalini Singh - Sat, 24, May 2025
- 10:24 EDT
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Let’s break this down especially if you’re dating with the hope of finding a long-term relationship.
No brainer:
You’ve got to be open to meeting someone because you want to, not because your parents, friends, or society expect it from you. Also, are you looking for a partner to share your life with, or are you seeking validation from the outside world? Read that again. That small mindset shift makes all the difference.
So, if you are the one who is genuinely looking for your person and you're in a good space in life, let’s keep going.
You’re ready... kind of:
You’ve finished college, you’re focused on your career, and maybe you’re still in touch with a few friends from university or maybe you lost touch. Maybe you were in a relationship that didn’t work out, and now you’re back in the game, looking for someone real.
As Indians, we grow up with a strong focus on professional success and the expectation of getting married “by a certain age.” So what do we do? We often lean on family, friends, or dating platforms for introductions.
But wait, before you dive in, pause.
Write down your must-haves. Not a long list, just 3 to 4 non-negotiables, this is an important exercise which is recommended. These should cover compatibility in personality, intimacy, finances, and emotional connection. These are the real foundations of a long-term relationship.
You’re wondering, what about looks and height? Sure, they matter. But are they deal-makers in a long-term relationship? Not really. Height is something no one can change. Looks? If it truly matters to you, there are professionals who can help you put your best foot forward. But long-term compatibility lies deeper than appearances.
Now that we’ve got the basics in place, let’s talk about dating fatigue, and how to avoid it.
Dating fatigue tends to creep in when you invest emotionally too soon. This often happens when you assume things are going well without checking in with the prospect who may not feel the same as you, or when you're simply in a hurry to settle down.
Here are a few ways to avoid the burnout:
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Accept that it might take time.
You may have to meet quite a few people before you find your person. Some find love quickly; for most, it’s a process. And that’s okay. -
Keep pre-meeting texting short and sweet.
Think 5 minutes a day, not endless back-and-forths. Keep it light and engaging. Save the real conversations in person. -
On the first call or meeting, go easy.
Skip the trauma dumps or detailed breakdowns of past relationships. If you’ve had tough experiences, talk instead about what you’ve learned. That shows clarity and emotional maturity, not baggage. -
When you meet, do something.
Ditch the usual coffee/lunch/dinner routine. Go for a walk, attend a workshop, visit a local event. Doing something together changes the energy of the interaction, it’s lighter, more natural, and a lot more fun.
Try these out and let us know how it goes. You might just find that dating feels less like a chore and a lot more like a meaningful adventure.
The Author is the founder of andwemet a service built for single Indians 28, 29, 30 and above looking for a long term relationship.
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